didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I wish you could order shots online.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
