you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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