I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
