That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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