I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
