do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
And then my night got REAL pukey
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
