i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
So squirting runs in the family.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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