That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
