Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
