awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
