So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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