Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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