watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
