I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
