just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
