you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
