I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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