the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Randomize
