she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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