I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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