i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
