You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize