I wanna bring you to show and tell
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Blow job season was short but glorious.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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