nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
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