I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
If I die, sorry about rent.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize