Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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