nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
