I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
