yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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