his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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