Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
