I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
