Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
that may or may not have been my penis.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
