She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
