I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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