We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
