Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize
