Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
