but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
