Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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