Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize