In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
They are going to name an STD after you.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
