I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
