after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
No subtext here. People are naked.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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