Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
