the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
