Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
