she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
