32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
