WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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