Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
