Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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