His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I pour the whiskey from now on
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize