he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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