why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
