I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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