You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
