I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
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