Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
