the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
