you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
