we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
is that a dick in a sweater?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
