My hand turned me down
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize