don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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