Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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