The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize