i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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