we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
