i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
