he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
