It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
