My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
