Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize