We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
